US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. Remember what they say about each joke having a grain of truth? For instance, the actor behind Uncle Vernon supported Brexit, Dumbledore is gay, and J.K Rowling has been widely denounced as a transphobe.. 54. David M. Benett. 31. "I sweari'm not a racist. Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. H. arry Potter star Jessie Cave has been admitted to hospital after testing positive for Covid -19 while pregnant with her fourth child. I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think Im about to get lucky. However, we spotted a few of these on Parade, The Dad, Pun Jokes, Quora, Barry Popik, and Tiny Beans, which we can't recommend strongly enough. This article contains content from Loryn Brantz and Isha Bassi. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors. Why hasnt anyone in Antarctica contracted COVID-19? 61. Chuck Norris has been exposed to coronavirus. One to hold the bulb. "absolute astonishment! That's just my imaginary friend, midnight desserts. What did Harry say to Hermione when she lent him a galleon? well the party was nice and pumpin It helps keep everyone at a safe distance. Children of the Quarn. Welcome, My Friend, to This Citable Evolving Index of Puns on "Coronavirus," "COVID," &/Or . Step 2. Why was Harry Potter such a good computer programmer? What did the virologist say to the public? According to Daily Dot, TikTok user @kats.outta.the.bag, who reportedly made the first video using the term, confirmed in a comment that the phrase was a Harry Potter-based joke. Times are rough. Whos idea was it to sing Happy Birthday while washing your hands? When we first meet Neville Longbottom in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, he's described as a "round-faced boy" who's clumsy . Mon, Feb 27, 2023 LOGIN Subscribe for $1 What do you call grabbing your packages from the front porch? In the Harry Potter series 7. Anyhoo, shouldnt we skip to a bit more cheerful topic? To the people who bought 20 bottles of soap leaving none of the shelves for others, you do realise that to stop getting Coronavirus, you need other people washing their hands too. I can assure you it was not the virus that killed me. What does eating raw garlic have to do with preventing COVID-19? Why hasnt anyone in Antarctica contracted COVID-19? The days outdoor activities. So youd never know which side he was on. I stood on my talking scales today and they said "please practice social distancing, only one person at a time.". Knock-knock! We further reserve the right to refuse entry to any person that refuses to comply with our safety protocols. 78. Some of these coronavirus jokes, that went so viral just a few years back, have now gained a whole new meaning. Thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us! Given the uncertainties surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic, ATG Tickets reserves the right to shorten or extend this temporary policy. My mom always told me I wouldnt accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. He holds it and the world revolves around him. COVID-19 SAFETY MEASURES: By attending Harry Potter and the Cursed Child at the Lyric Theatre, all patrons are acknowledging their consent to, and agreed to abide by, the safety precautions that have been adopted therein, which may include the wearing of face coverings.. Health and safety protocols for the Lyric Theatre and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will be announced closer to the . My goodness, the amount of times I've head friends say "I had to give my parents a stern talking too for going out". 49. 65. The North Poll. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), "False Frugalities": 45 Examples Of People Trying To Save But Actually Losing Money, AITA? You have to be joking me. However, what has caught the attention of people is not the concept of 'mix and match' but the main man behind the study Professor Matthew Snape. All rights reserved. What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? I never thought the comment I wouldnt touch them with a 6-foot pole would become a national policy, but here we are! And nobody knows what time it is. If this keeps up, I'll be pouring wine in my cereal. Replying to her post, comedian Felicity Ward said: Oh honey. Humor is an essential coping tool for surviving tough times. its responsible for the obeisity crisis and only found in the USA! 79. Please check link and try again. The Best Harry Potter Gift Ideas For Kids: Because Young Muggles Love *Magic*. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. You can read more about it and change your preferences. Going to ask my mom if the offer to slap me into next year still stands. I came into my house, told my dog we laughed a lot. harry potter | 128.5B views. "I've never read or seen Harry Potter, but my goodness, this woman needs to lighten up!" One of the poshest, whitest, elitist schools in the country - and here she is screaming about a fictional wizard.". yo mama so fat that when she stepped on the scale it called my phone number. 5. Editor's note: All of these fun puns are in the public domain. Sputnik was the first registered vaccine against Covid. You cant transfer students out of your class. Audiences from across Australia have been captivated by epic duals and extraordinary spells, as . You-know-who? The first one says, Sure is hot in here. The second one snaps back, Shut your mouth!. Ill probably hit the living room around 8 or 9. How much does it cost to watch Harry Potter play his favorite sport? "This isn't your average book," said Ron. We video chat on weekends. Even so, ATG Tickets has instituted a temporary COVID-19 exchange/refund policy. Dr. Matthew Snape of the University of Oxford and Alan Rickman as Hogwarts' potions master, Professor Severus Snape. A plague-al cadence. Why is herbology Slytherin students favorite class? Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. What do you call staging a beer in every room of the house? Hayley Vaughn is a News Associate with the Breaking News team. The Ickabog author later defended her comments, penning a lengthy essay explaining her controversial views on gender. If you dont like Harry Potter puns, something is Siriusly Ron with you. It seems that our Professor Snape is trending We'd like to confirm our Snape is NOT a 'Dark Arts' professor. You know what theyre saying about 2020. "If you think Myrtle moans, just wait until you spend the night with me . Whats the worst part of homeschooling? And still funny! It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity. discover more visit wizarding world . The actress who portrayed Luna Lovegood in the film adaption of Rowlings bestselling book series said that it was irresponsible to discuss such a delicate topic as transgender rights online. Nonetheless, she cant forget what a generous and loving person Rowling is. You've been in a coma for 8 years" says the doctor. 25. People have been spending more time at home reading short books. Harry Potter wakes up in hospital. I named my lizard Harry just so I can say, Youre a lizard, Harry!. 72. Characteristics 2. On Saturday, the 34-year-old . Have scientists determined why cats can catch COVID? yo mama so fat that when she swam in the ocean the whales sang "we are family even though your fatter than me". Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? Dr. Matthew Snape is leading a U.K.-based trial . Shave your eyebrows off. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Theyre catchy. This elegant polyster mask features Harry's glasses, the golden snitch, and Prof. McGonagall's signature hat, all tastefully incorporated. What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell? He was rubbing his hands together. You're welcome. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Its a long story. The world has turned upside down. Quotes displayed in real-time or delayed by at least 15 minutes. Characters like the Death Eaters and the Malfoy family were regarded as pure-blood supremacists, believing that only those without Muggle blood should be taught wizardry. Ill have a corona, hold the virus. Yessssssssssss. What would you call a reality show where Sirius Black adopted the Weasley children? The one who hates me most Is the one I will die to protect. 2020 is a unique leap year. A recent study of coronavirus vaccines led by Dr. Matthew Snape, a professor at the University of Oxford in the U.K., sent Twitter users and "Harry Potter" fans into a frenzy this week. Did you hear about the guy speculating on hand sanitizer? Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. When they werent running for their lives, Harry and his friends Ron and Hermoine were being fun-loving kids who kept us smiling from time to time. who who who who If you use your stimulus check to buy baby chicks, then you got the money for nothing and the chicks for free. How come the liquor stores don't have empty shelves? A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. "Abused orphan boy living in a cupboard under the stairs, neglected by his guardians, haunted by a mad serial killer, friend of oppressed students, refuses to take the most magical tool. By attendingHarry Potter and the Cursed Childat the Lyric Theatre, all patrons are acknowledging their consent to, and agreed to abide by, the safety precautions that have been adopted therein, which may include the wearing of face coverings. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out. Oh, the places youll see.. Im saving the world! LONDON -- When it comes to puns, UK weather presenter Sian Welby is a total . Pandemic pick-up line: "You can't spell quarantine without 'U R A Q T.'". If Hermione was a mathematician what would her kids be named? I'm back to work and now I'm currently in LDR with my dog. These funny covid jokes are also still quite unique even though the topic has been talked and talked about. Enjoy some alliteration and the sum total product of my $43,000 English degree. Health and safety protocols for the Lyric Theatre and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will be announced closer to the start of performances. Anna Tingley. I had a view of, like, good and bad. 63. How many Purebloods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Unfortunately, hes still not able to smell jiu-jitsu. I want everyone to now call me pureblood. Join half a million readers enjoying Newsweek's free newsletters. After a record-breaking season and over one million tickets sold Harry Potter and the Cursed Child must leave Australia on July 9. Did you hear that vaccinations are controversial in some communities? 2023 FOX News Network, LLC. Dirty fish tanks. Why cant Harry Potter tell the difference between his potions pot and his best friend? What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells? And laughter literally makes us stronger. 88. One to rotate the room. What did the barista call her face mask? What do you call a Potterhead on a horse? A single Jewish grandparent 'polluted' the blood, according to their propaganda," wrote the author in a 2007 answer to a fan question online. Hermione walks into a pub with a Time-Turner. They kept yelling at me to put on some pants. People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible". It has cancelled sports, closed all bars and kept all guys at home! On a scale of one to 10, how obsessed with the Harry Potter Series am I? Please enter your email to complete registration. And those I fight I cannot hate. Mac and sneeze. No reason. Whats the difference between the Alpha and Delta variant? What did the virologist say to the public? People thought his elect-Ron campaign was too negative. What does he say? Harry Potter, the Joker and Wonder Woman don masks in COVID PSA from WarnerMedia. What do you call staging a beer in every room of the house? 73. Exchange policies set forth in clause 7.1 will apply to any exchanges pursuant to this clause 7.8, except that no exchange fee will be charged. Cave, 34, shared a photo with her more than 200,000 Instagram followers showing her lying on a hospital bed. What's COVID-19's favorite chord progression? And we get really excited about car rides. Let us know what you think! J.K. Rowling herself has also pointed out the similarities between pure-bloods and Nazis, thanks to their mutual views on bloodlines and purity. . What should you do if you dont understand a coronavirus joke? Wimpund? I love Harry Potter, but after re-reading the chapter The Deathday Party, I realized something about Nearly Headless Nick. For tickets purchased for performances on or before January 17, 2022, under the following circumstances, ATG Tickets will permit you to (i) exchange your tickets for the same Event at a later date; or (ii) if such exchange is not possible or not practical, e.g., the Event is one performance or limited run, refund your ticket purchase: 1. *Breaking News! Oh, wait, here it is - a list dedicated to covid jokes, and covid jokes only! Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. Never mind, I dont want to spread it around. Ron lives a long, happy life and then dies. Not if Im going to have to explain it three times.. 27,291, 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All Rights Reserved Pollen still coming out during a global pandemic? It's much more peaceful for me now that he can go out and socialize. You've successfully subscribed to this newsletter! If so, check out our list of the best covid jokes the pandemic has spawned - they are just a bit further down! I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "What kills the Corona Virus?". "Yeah, would've been much better if it had been written by a woman with no money," Hazeldine wrote. I dont know; its all Greek to me. She seems nice. 32. J.K. ROWLING CRITIC FORCED TO PUBLICLY APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING HER A NAZI AFTER LAWSUIT THREAT, Alan Rickman, who played Snape, stands in front of an advertisement for a Harry Potter movie. The first one says, "Sure is hot in here.". The actor, best known for her role as Lavender Brown, says her symptoms have lasted for weeks. Performances of the award-winning play "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child" have also been suspended in various locations around the world, including New York . A blind wizard walks into a bar, finds his way to a stool, and sits down. A high-fiber diet. 29. Warner Bros. suspended its Harry Potter Studios tour mid-March, during the first wave of entertainment shutdowns across the U.K. in response to the COVID-19 outbreak. "She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner. It was a joke about being PUREnot getting the damn vaccine. Dobby is a free elf.. Cave revealed she was expecting her fourth child late last year. Do you remember on all those Sundays when you just wanted the weekend to go on forever? 71. One. Too many handshakes. It's a starving man's job market. Full safety protocols for the Lyric Theatre are posted on thetheatre websiteand specific patron requirements will be set forth in the know before you go email notifications. 54. LONDON, ENGLAND - MARCH 29: J.K. Rowling arrives at the "Fantastic Beasts: The Secret of Dumbledore" world premiere at The Royal Festival Hall on March 29, 2022 in London, England. Quarantino'd. Watch the latest videos about #harrypotter on TikTok. Read full article. She rose above these struggles to become one of the bestselling authors of all time. What did the house-elf say when he came from college? Designer Dennis Basso has $200K fur fitting at midnight in Gstaad, Isabella Rossellini, 70, on aging with beauty and saying no to Botox, Re-create Daisy Jones & The Six outfits with these Amazon fashion finds, Vanderpump Rules: Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix Break Up After He Reportedly Cheated With Raquel Leviss, 2023 NYP Holdings, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Adele slammed for telling gender-neutral award show she loves being a woman, Eddie Redmayne speaks out against J.K. Rowlings transphobic tweets, Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe responds to transphobic J.K. Rowling tweets, J.K. 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"If you think this is far-fetched, look at some of the real charts the Nazis used to show what constituted 'Aryan' or 'Jewish' blood. Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone was the first book of the bestselling series. But when my suitcase weighed 52 pounds, I was on my own. Market data provided by Factset. Harry Potter memes flooded Twitter after Jonathan Van-Tam said someone named Professor Snape would be running a UK Covid-19 trial J.K. Rowling, the series' author, defended herself last month against continued attacks from transgender activists. It is an offence for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child tickets to be sold, or offered or advertised for resale, at a price exceeding its face value purchase price by more than 10%, unless the seller is authorised in writing by the ticketed event organiser. So many coronavirus jokes out there, its a pundemic. Meanwhile, another penned: "Professor Snape on BBC . When I got there, everyone else had clothes on. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Whats the difference between the Alpha and Delta variant? The actor, best known for her role as Lavender Brown in the . (Photo by Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images) (Getty Images), British journalist Sophie Corcoran wrote, "This woman was a Cambridge academic. They should have mentioned clothes, too. Whos idea was it to sing Happy Birthday while washing your hands? What is Aragogs favorite day of the week? #10. 57. 7.1K Followers. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately, now when I pee I clean the toilet. Because all the characters 4. Because he has only followers, not friends. 2. What should you do if you dont understand a coronavirus joke? Two. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. What do you call a house-elf in a hotel? STAG: u have a problem. 9. 12. But I have a fuckton of puns on the word "coronavirus" or "COVID-19" that used to be funny but aren't funny anymore. Whats the difference between COVID and politics? Its the pet-he-grew up with! Ask her anything! Snape is hopeful that the study could help speed the inoculation process by proving that a "mixed schedule" of vaccine doses provides a strong immune response, he told the Evening Standard, a British newspaper. Wizarding World mastermind J.K. Rowling has unveiled a new website, Harry Potter at Home, in an effort to provide a mystical escape from current events in the muggle world. My thoughts are with his family. 28,052, This story has been shared 27,291 times. Whats the difference between a comma and Crookshanks? You are like a bottle of Skele-Gro: You're growing me a bone. Because the chicken behind it didnt know how to socially distance properly. A mechanic. Joe Silverstein is a production assistant for Fox News Digital. Its still a meow-stery. Dark magic or not, Snape is optimistic that combining both viral vector vaccines, as well as RNA vaccines, could cause a better immune response than what he called the "straight" schedules for the vaccines, he told the Evening Standard.