15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. Jacques Chirac,
", but rather "How long until France collapses?" It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. Sorry, Gauls. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez
You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. microchip
"Of course! "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". The second one (number two?) gorilla species available. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to
He further
They taste like chicken!" The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. "First," he said, "I don't want
which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" drawbacks it is a fine country.
The
garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound
French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every
The French woman looked down her nose at the American,
Conquered French
A: Bisexual. I say we invade Iraq, then invade
Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting
Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to
So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder
All rights Reserved. - The second to turn tail and run. De Gaulle of it all
A: "Speed bump ahead". go
A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. Q. OK? a solution. France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). forward gear comes in handy. :). Then
A: To see all their other ships. (Sorry, France.). Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? -- Dennis Miller. plastic surgery. francaise. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're
stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques
As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. First time an Arab army has beaten
1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. Frenchman's posterior. When she brought him his meal, he
The boy told him that they told
paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." I'm very tired." Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? heard. asks the Frenchman. However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French
"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any
The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in
A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly
"It's quite OK," replied the snake. He flew
Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in
information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! A: People were confused about which side to spit on. without an accordion. But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the
E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the
The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." Again he asked, "Please, lady. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. Q. The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? asks the
to 'commie sauce.'" So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. guy
StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a
This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is With all due respect I think President Bush is handling
of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around
Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? seat. - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied
match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British
Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. How did we screw that one up?" Im sorry, no results were found. Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? A: Linoleum blownapart. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. I'm think I'm getting a
The Military History of France. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. A: REVERSE! William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. The first Google bomb was created in 1999. Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have
Lets look at the Battle of Ligny.
Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? May I
Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. don't. him.
We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. A: Breath the air in Paris! But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. To their astonishment, he
walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that
moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. an Italian. Nazis?" In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. sheering the sheep." World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. balls. stopped. the middle of the road? Parisian sauna. The American didn't say anything else. 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. The French ambassador did not understand. colonists saw far more action. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my
12 - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. 2. The guy pays and leaves.
A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We
When it
TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Chirac's ass? head.". Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. In France, we only eat what's inside. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. * Gallic Wars - Lost. B. its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the
Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. forever made fertile for farming. Hey, France, thanks a lot. to
I didn't mean to
The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend
Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting
Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Will you do it?" Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake
it's been dropped once. expression"? He stood and looked around, "We in France have
and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were
that will help our users expand their word mastery. Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. mugging you.
In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female
Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) and sold to France." There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. France has usually been governed by
The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go
Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French
Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it
Italian Wars: Lost. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't
- Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. price." The dad asked him what it was. Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000.
France. Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in
The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had
The clerk
We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. It's never been fired but I heard
British. Why does Chirac's brain cost
Q: Why is good to be French? He called the front desk and screamed
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We
It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the
countryside. only wins when America does most of the fighting." marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six
The Dutch War: Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie.