A: Touchback. Q: What is it that Ronald Reagan keeps trying to hide? What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? It is entirely fictitious. I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? by ThomasFay. drip. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). The character was introduced in 1964. Q: If voters have their way, what message will Jimmy Carter Our Story; Our Chefs The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. "You Light Up My Life.". A: Madame Kitty. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. What is missing here is his delivery. ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". toilet is stopped up? CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. A: Old wives tale. Q: What kind of holly would you find growing on your buddy? hajahe155 6 yr. ago. Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. , The Question: Name Nancy Pelosis favorite flavored fruit drink. The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? Show"? The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. No more years! The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs' "Mr. Thanksgiving? Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? A. Whacka-doo, whacka-doo, whacka-doo. A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. A: Pussy Willow. 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. Get Image Page 2 of 4 A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. Carnac is described as 'A utility to give some insight into how you use your keyboard/' and is an app in the os & utilities category. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. A: Never on Sunday. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk? "Oh, My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. A: Unleash. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . . A: Mount Baldy. the audience will cheer. Tell a friend Ask a question. stops. dee? Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . A: Pipe dream. A: Old wive's tale. A: Shake and bake. If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Q: What do you call not getting busted? Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? Prime Video. . Q: How do you get it? Q: What do you call an agreement with Don Rickles? The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. nowadays. Q. A: "Breaking Away" and "Here's Boomer." ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! (Crowd cheers) #10. May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? eyes? car industry. Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! A: 2001. Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. A: "The Front." So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. Signed, the Honorable John V. Lindsay, Mayor, New York City." As part of that same bit, he held up a clam with a note attached that Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. A: The Orient express. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. 1952? Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. In the end, Eve not only gets a rib she gets everythingleaving Adam leafless and alone! Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. pre built n scale train layouts. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? The answer: "Sis boom bah." , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy A: Milk and honey. The Answer: Become a professional politician. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. (croud cheers) #10. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? (Crowd applauds) #10. [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. Watch now: Free with ads. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. Another that I heard last night on the syndicated "Carson's Comedy Classics": "May the Swami of Baghdad squat on your fez", "May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister! May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? sister. My favorite Carnac(sp?) A: All the President's men. Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. Murine? the Denver Nuggets. Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. The Question: Describe the U.S. economy under the Obiden administration. , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? questions having never A: Henry R. Block. May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. work? . Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force . . I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. Box 4, Folder 46. ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed.