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First of all, I can see the sun, okay? As long he included one additional commandment: Genius is the ultimate source of music knowledge, created by scholars like you who share facts and insight about the songs and artists they love. The planet is fine. Video Transcript - In Defense of Politicians (George Carlin, 1996) "Now there's one thing you mighta noticed I don't complain about: politicians. They OWN YOU. Before his death in June 2008, comedian George Carlin spent 10 years working on a memoir, Last Words, with his longtime friend Tony Hendra. BUT WHEN I DO, I'LL ADVISE YOU. Are these fucking people kidding me? So self-important. George Carlin. 192 0 obj 193 0 obj Personally, I think we still need to hoist our fannies perpendicular and hike ourselves to the ballet box for all elections. George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. We dont have people like that in this country. You dont. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Whatever happened WellWell he's about to find out! Complete biography of George Carlin . This is what we have to offer. endobj They want your retirement money. Mr. GEORGE CARLIN: Here's another slogan you run into all the time "God Bless America." Once again, respectfully I say to myself what the (beep) does that mean. A clean place to live. We're addicted to the attention, the likes, the validation. Maher was raised a Catholic (but has a Jewish mother). And the problem is, we're comparing our real lives to other people's highlight reels. Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. "I don't believe anything the government tells me." - George Carlin 02. They should be earned. Because the owners, the owners of this country dont want that. 'Look at me, I'm so happy and successful and loved!' Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. 189 0 obj But that would be much too direct! As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. From people in all walks of life usually the person in question who has committed some unspeakable act. Trump Follower? e d u / e t d)/Rect[230.8867 233.3227 416.9463 245.0414]/StructParent 4/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> 2023. I'M NOT SURE; I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET (LAUGHS). FUCK THEM. Thats right. You got people posting pictures of their food, their pets, their vacations. I dont vote. So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. Everyone experiences pain, of course. [5] And another one: We're all becoming like Goldfish, swimming around in our own little bowls, looking at the world through a curved piece of glass. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. They own you. People like to twist that around, I know. But, he is wrong here. From Life Is Worth Losing. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[466.2109 650.625 540.0 669.375]/StructParent 2/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> But social media is just a symptom of our narcissistic, attention-deficit culture. So, maybemaybemaybe its not the politicians who suck. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? (CLAPS, LAUGHS). This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. Apparently no one has ever claimed that only a small portion of something (LAUGHS) was blown out of proportion. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Garbage out. The transcripts I could find always sucked. They dont fall out of the sky. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All photographs on this website (unless otherwise indicated) were created by and are the property of Daniel R. Joder and may not be used for any purpose without permission. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) An INITIATIVE is an idea that isn't going anywhere! hb```b``na` cc`ahd`phQD"#. -{- f1^u0`cp@&CUoM;v> Theres a reason. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(digitalcommons@montclair.edu)/Rect[400.0562 72.3516 527.5898 82.8984]/StructParent 7/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Its what our system produces. But, the Incomplete List highlights his exceptional understanding of, love for, and talent with language, sound, and rythmn. This is the best we can do, folks. Your vote is what determines the direction this Great Ship America will turn. Theyll get it. 0000001412 00000 n Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. stream endobj Here Is What You Support, Stop The Steal! You wanna know what a friend is? << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> The Secret News (News ticker sound effect), Type out all lyrics, even repeating song parts like the chorus, Lyrics should be broken down into individual lines. It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. Watch on George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999 Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. They dont want that! ,G0p%:::400-: @%L`n((lax@\0eF,q] \ .P+4 d3;P hnN*S fxsH>XDAA#beae:i5rY3h11(31013a_p_&]37CD\&k2N@TD}. Yes, all the words are quite impolite. Look them in the eye, shake their hand, and share your thoughts and feelings in person. This is not good work. Sure, there's some good stuff on there, but it's mostly just people filming themselves doing stupid things and hoping to go viral. [5], Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. You have owners. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Its called the American Dream,because you have to be asleep to believe it. GEORGE CARLIN: I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. The planet has been here four and a half billion years. Where you calling from today? The Wealthy the REAL owners! It's a big club, and you ain't in it. Such as the PROCESS: POLITICIAN:WE HAVE TO MOVE THE PROCESS FORWARD SO WE CAN IMPLEMENT THE PROVISIONS OF THE INITIATIVE IN ORDER TO MEET THESE CHALLENGES. Quick Guide. And let's not forget about YouTube. No contest. they're always PROCEEDING or moving forward. It's supposed to connect you with other people, but it's just a way of avoiding real human contact. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( \n h t t p s : / / d i g i t a l c o m m o n s . People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! Been here four and a half billion years. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians". Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? You voted them in. Several reasons. Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. George Carlin on Voting Transcript Now there's one thing you might have noticed i don't complain about: politicians. 0 . The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or . I don't words that conceal reality. All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. I always thought it was kind of funny and someone out of character for a POLITICIAN to go out of his way to point out the low level of American intelligence (LAUGHS), when indeed his very job depends upon it. Such a nice touch. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[308.9844 674.625 540.0 693.375]/StructParent 1/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Enjoyed this speech? everybody complains about politicians. Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. But it's all a facade. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poleshundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice agesAnd we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? See they don't DECIDE; they DETERMINE. 183 0 obj 0000004120 00000 n That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun? They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. "Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. You know what they want? He missed this one. In April 2004, he placed second on the Comedy Central list of "Top 10 Comedians of US Audiences".The first of Carlin's 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. George Carlin - National Press Club May 19, 1999. xWnF}WDh%&^6F%&T{84e[A0@-3wUr-*l:, XF{HT+T0?LL q8"y1yY0LV"vQ|8:GwPBr,&]Qt7oz5n xref Dog, Cat, Thinking. If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what they have done, YOU caused the problem, you voted them in, you have no right to complain. I dont vote. They don't fall out of the sky. Maybe two hundred thousand? And there you have it, a transcript of George Carlin's take on social media. (LAUGHS). They should be based on the parents' performance. And term limits aint gunna do ya any good. 0000002565 00000 n All rights reserved. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? Suddenly we're down to four. [masturbation gestures] It doesnt mean a fucking thing. These are the websites where people go to express themselves, right? Apparently, his last ballot was cast in 1972for McGovern. And then there's the political posts. If it's a really serious matter, they make a JUDGMENT: POLITICIAN: I HAVEN'T MADE A JUDGMENT ON THAT. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. I know, they say, they say: well if you dont vote you have no right to complain. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. The PEOPLE are fucked. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? He pretty much smashed the nail squarely on the head. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. Its a big club, and you aint in it! And don't get me started on the selfies. 0000082419 00000 n Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. You enjoy yourselves; itll be a lot of fun. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. 01. Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. No contest. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. George Carlin: Dumb Americans. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) GEORGE CARLIN, COMEDIAN: Takes the cake! Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Watching the video and reading the transcript are, interestingly, two different experiences. So Ive made what i hope is a more readable version below, so this classic piece of polemical gold can be shared and understood more widely. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. All rights reserved. Friends? George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Thats a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks! Theres a reason for this, theres a reason education SUCKS, and its the same reason it will never, ever, EVER be fixed. Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. That doesnt help them. Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin's routine about social media: "Social media. ', Defense of 2nd Spanish Republic - 1936, Jimmy Reid: 'A rat race is for rats. I'm getting tired of that shit. Nobody seems to care. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. Ill let Carlin tell you what he thinks. @Z(dXSm !4I It will be a lot of fun. No one has PROBLEMS anymore. And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! What? George Carlin - Euphemisms I don't like words that hide the truth. Everybodys at the mall, scratchin his ass, pickin his nose, takin his credit card out of his fanny pack and buyin a pair of sneakers with lights in them. They want obedient workers. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." Look, I'm not against technology or communication. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. <>stream 0000001936 00000 n I mean, why do we need to see some idiot eating Tide pods or jumping off a roof into a pool? Comedian George Carlin, who died Sunday of heart failure at 71, was known for an act featuring "seven dirty words" that became the focus of a Supreme Court case. Difference. 124 Copy quote. Pfft! (LAUGHS), so instead they ADDRESS the PROBLEM (LAUGHS). You can't have an opinion anymore without being labeled as something. That's why we need people who can make the TOUGH DECISIONS. Londons Heathrow Airport, November 7, 2018. Your email address will not be published. You have OWNERS! This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. And it's not just that social media is a distraction from real life, it's also a way of creating a false sense of connection. Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. Do you think its possible that one of these POLITICIANS whose judgment is so poor that he honestly thinks of himself as serving the Nation might occasionally be expected to indulge in little patriotism huh What do you think? Well, where do people think these politicians come from? It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. endobj Funny, Humor, Beer. You got people spouting their opinions left and right, like they're some kind of expert on the subject. In fact, it might be the thing that's making you unhappy. 0000002288 00000 n George Carlin was known for his insightful and humorous observations on modern society, including his thoughts on social media. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. They're your 'likes'. Thats what the owners count on. Theyre not interested in that. Global Search Search In. I dont vote. Everybody says they suck. I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. It's like we're living in this weird dystopian future where everyone is constantly monitoring each other, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. Its a big club, and. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. George Carlin Interview Transcription: George Carlin: This is George Carlin. Our country is failing because the majority of the people are selfish. Anyway enjoy it while it's h. Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? You and I are not in the big club. THINGS ARE MOVING FASTER NOW, MISTAKES WERE MADE. I just wanna put this behind me and that's an expression we hear a lot these days in all walks of lives. Were fucked. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). (6K"F;nyV-()*bt3QgsX;a\IC'h%7. It's clearly a padded list. You caused the problem. You, and I, are not in the big club. It's like the Wild West of the internet, but with more trolls. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Everybody says they suck.